I have been feeling really depressed and homesick for NZ of late lots of stress here and have been thinking of just walking away and going home to NZ though I have no home there either I just feel so down I miss my friends I miss the quiet life of NZ it is too hard to explain I just can't seem to feel happy anymore things are so stressful with Kyle(Our Son) he doesn't seem to care about us and I don't know how much longer I can stay here and watch him self distruct.
I cry all the time I feel so sad I don't know what to do ?
I have only been able to knit basic dishcloths of late as they don't require me to really concentrate I could knit them in my sleep(If I was getting any sleep that is ) I have been trying to also read but unless the book is not too complicated I can't concentrate on a story line that requires me to keep track of who did what in a mystery. So have been rereading books I loved as a child/teen like Across The Barricades By Joan Lingard and a few Nancy Drew Books(I loved Nancy Drew Books as a Pre-Teen I have also started the latest Debbie Macomber book..Summer On Blossom Street, but it has been over a week since I started it and I am not even 1/2 way through it, that is so not like me I usually read a book like this within 2 days.
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Sorry things are on the down swing lately. Life seems to go in these cycles where it's just awful for a while, then you have a breather, and it starts again. Of course it's not my business about what's going on, so I won't ask. All I know is that when people are on a self destructive course, the stuff they say and do doesn't always reflect their true self and feelings. And as hard and painful as it is, sometimes we have to accept that we have no way of really changing things, so we have to check out of the drama and focus on other things. Maybe find a support group of people going through similar stuff? It really helps to talk and sort things out instead of having it roll around in your brain where it grows and grows exponentially. ((hugs to you and yours))
Hi, I was just reading your posting and asking God if there was something I could share with you that would bring a sense of hope and peace to your mind and heart.
I can only imagine what you, as a mom, must be feeling as you watch your son on a downward path. But something I have been learning over my lifetime is that no matter what the situation, if we allow God to be a part of the equation, somehow He brings an answer.
I'm not talking about a religion, but a relationship with Someone who is truly bigger than myself. If I didn't have that Someone, I'm not sure what I'd do when things get tough.
Like you, I tend to find things that have comforted me in the past. You mention being homesick for NZ, and my guess if I'm reading between the lines right is that NZ was perhaps that place where you felt most at home and safe. So of course that's where your heart longs to go back to.
May I pray that the God of the impossible will bring something good out of what seems like chaos for you and your loved ones? I have experienced His peace and love during my own troubled times. I don't know what I would have done without it.
I hope that doesn't feel like preaching, because my heart wants to reach out and give you a hug!
Thank you for your kind words Brenda, I hope that things will settle down and start to change I guess we all need to work on this as a family but it is so difficult and heart breaking.
Oh Hon, Hugs to you! Moves can be so stressful even if the are for the better. I think the hardest this as a parent is to watch you child make bad decisions and no matter what you say they stay on that course.
After visiting NZ last year, I understand why you miss it so!
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